Day 0005:

   So, the other day after my new friends and I watched the movie Sucker Punch at Bradley's house (I don't recommend that movie to anyone. It's really dark and there is almost one happy part), I dropped off Adam at his house and went home. A block from home I realized that I didn't want to go home yet, so instead of turning onto our road, I went a few blocks down and went to the park. I found this park on a walk I had taken one of the afternoons I was having a hard day and just needed to get out. Anyway, I ended up staying there for an hour, because they had a swing set that could actually accommodate a young adult. At that time of night, the sprinklers were on, so I sat on the only swing that wasn't soaked, and did what anyone else would at midnight in an abandoned park who didn't want to go home; I pushed myself on the swing and thought.
   I thought about a lot of things. Most of them menial and unimportant. What would the park be like during the day? Warmer. What if someone I didn't know came up and tried talking to me? Run to the car and lock the doors. I decided it was cold out, but I couldn't make myself go inside. I could see the moon from my swing. It was beautiful. I thought about my swing set experiences. Most of them have been with friends. Once at night, Anne, Clayton and I went to a park and Anne and I were swinging while Clayton had decided to climb to the top of the set and play king of the jungle by himself. I would swing with Tony and he would do flips off of them while I watched on envious. I would swing with Mark and we would talk, and I would absentmindedly watch us swing in perfect harmony with each other. Then there was the most recent experience...my fiance and I took engagement pictures at a park back home. We were swinging in some of them. Unfortunately they never turned out. Either he wasn't looking, or my hair was in my face. It was such a happy day for me. I was completely blissful. Hanging out with the man that I loved while my best friend Anne took our pictures.
   As I thought about this, I decided I didn't want to swing anymore. I held onto the chains of the swing and lay out almost flat so the swing would slow down enough for me to gracefully step off. I watched the sky flip upside down on me and slow down. As I walked back to the car, I thought about today's discussion piece.
   Why do some of our favorite memories or activities become bittersweet later in life? I still love swinging. I'm going to go back, but it'll never be the same. I think it became bittersweet for me because I loved my fiance enough to let him in. I let him know everything about me. I let him participate in my favorite things to do with me. I thought it was for life, so I held back nothing. If I could go back, would I change things? Probably not. I'm a hopeless romantic...oh well. Anyway, please share you thoughts and stories.

Sincerely,
Monotonous Me