Day 0013:

   Today's post is going to be short and sweet. I've noticed (as well as some of my friends) that when you don't go looking for love, or a relationship, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, that you end up with one. When you go looking for it, it finds a way to elude you. Very well, I might add. After my last break up, I decided to just enjoy single life and let what happens happen. A few weeks later I ended up with a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend. This man is amazing. I was totally captivated and sucked in right away. Not in the "Wow, he's really hot" kind of way (though he is super attractive), but in the "I've never seen anything like you before" kind of way. I don't know what it is, but everything feels different. This guy is a real game changer...my family is gonna freak out when they read this...
   Today's question is how you know when you're in love. I've loved a lot of people, but I don't think I've really fallen in love. Does that even make sense? When you found the guy/girl you were gonna marry, how did it feel? Did you 'just know'? Did everything make sense? Did you picture the two of you years from that point? What happened? I mostly want to hear input because I need guidance...help!

Day 0012:

   A lot has happened since I last wrote. I started and ended a relationship, and started a second one. I dated around here and there as well. I am currently reading a book called Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling By Jen Shefft. Jen won the 2003 Bachelor and starred in the 2004 Bachelorette. She's got a lot of experience under her belt. The relationship decisions I've made in the past 5 months were all based on what I thought was right and best for me. Reading this book has just helped me see that I really did make the right decision, and still am. The section that I just finished reading is called What You Want Versus What You Need and it talked largely about making a list of things you need and want in a future husband, and continuously states that if you have most of your wants and all of your needs met, then you're doing great.
   I was thinking about my needs and wants and trying to make sure that my current boyfriend isn't directly influencing it. If he influences it, it's because he meets my "criteria" of sorts. Not because I'm changing to satisfy him. For demonstration purposes, here is my rough draft...

NEEDS:
*Must be an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
*Has to be able to keep up with my conversation and "smart humor"
*Respectful, loyal, and trustworthy
*Needs to love me, and love being around me, but not in a suffocating manner
*Must love cuddling and kissing

WANTS:
*Good looking
*Nice job established
*Passionate about what he wants
*Own a car
*He should want a family...or at least a pet
*Taller than me and muscular
*Dresses well
*Older than me

   Keep in mind, this is just a rough draft. It's not finished yet. In fact, I don't think it will ever be finished. But I do think that it's a pretty good start. The man I'm dating now fills all those needs and most of my wants. Will this relationship last, or turn into something more than it already is? I have no idea. If it does, awesome. If not, I'll be ok. As long as we're both happy and on the same page with the important stuff, we'll be dating. The best part of this whole thing? It's no one's business who I date and for how long. As long as I'm happy, that's all that matters.
   Now for the question of the day: What is on your personal wants and needs list? You don't have to divulge your whole list for everyone in the world to see, but what are some vital things that your partner must have? Are you still looking for that person? Are you married to that person? What are some wants that may seem silly, but you still hope for? Let's see where this conversation takes us...

Day 0011:

   We are in the midst of Autumn, here in Minnesota. I'm sitting at the dining room table, looking out the window. My parents are in the kitchen taking out our windows and cleaning them thoroughly and then putting them back up. That means that while they're down, there is no pane in and no screen. I could jump out the window if I so desired. The breeze coming in is nice and cool, and it smells like all Autumns should; crisp, cool, and there is a very subtle hint coming from our neighbor's apple tree.
   Autumn isn't my favorite season, but I love the colors, the excuse to wear cute sweaters, the bonfires and Halloween. I feel like I've come to appreciate all seasons, even though I definitely have my favorite, and least favorite season. For instance, winter is my least favorite season because of the cold and such, but I love how the snow is so pretty and how is sparkles in the sunlight. I love Christmas, and I love the excuse for hot chocolate with mint flavoring and cuddling up with a friend or significant other in a warm blanket. I love how the evergreen tree's branches are weighed down by the heavier snow. It looks awesome, and you sometimes get to see the snow fall off, and it leaves a large amount of snow that dances around like a life-size snow globe. Spring isn't my favorite season either, but I love the green, and the new life everywhere in the plants and animals. I love how everyone's spirits are lifted in Spring. It's like an excuse to be happy and relaxed. Summer is my favorite season. I love how warm it is. I love walking to beaches in shorts and tank tops and just jumping in. I love the excuse for having picnics, and eating ice cream in the park. Laying out a blanket at night and star gazing. Camping is much more enjoyable in the summer as well as going to parks and playing on swings and jungle gyms. Yes; I am a little kid at heart.
   I'm interested to see what your favorite seasons are and why they're your favorite season?

Sincerely,
Monotonous Me

Day 0010:

   So, this past Saturday (the 24th I believe) I went to the Renaissance Festival with some new-found girl friends. Now something you need to understand about me is that I have the unfortunate habit of not getting along well with most girls. I think we're petty, gossipy, and usually hypocritical. I say 'we' because I either have, or have had in the past, one or more of these traits. The fact that I made four new girl friends since I moved home in March is incredible. They're great girls. The only boy that went with us was my good friend Clayton. He seemed to enjoy the fact that he was the only male...I don't blame him. These new girl friends of mine are very cute on a bad day.
   We all decided previously to dress up. I bought a costume three years ago that I re-wear every year. It's a white off-the-shoulder dress with a dark green corset. Clayton went as a ninja (same time period; different continent). Ali (who is the most petite of our group) was going to go dressed as a fairy. The day of our escapade she changed her mind. Chelsey was going to go with a skirt and tank top, but found black pants and a black corset, an awesome cape, and a gothic looking bracelet and necklace. Needless to say, we looked interesting walking into the gas station on our way there.
   I noticed a few things about this festival as I got there. First of all, there is a wide array of people. People that get super into it, dress up, speak as if they were from that time period, and never once break character until they leave. On the opposite side, we have the people that are a bit too embarrassed to dress up, so they come in regular clothes, and just have fun gawking at other people. There are, of course, people in the 'grey area'. I like to think that I fit into this category. I dress up and thoroughly enjoy the event, but I don't talk differently, and I don't act like I know everything there is to know about the time period...seeing as I don't, I'd just end up making a fool of myself anyway.
   Another thing I noticed, is that for the group of people I first mentioned, events like the Renaissance Festival are some of the only times they can fit into society just the way they are. How sad...that everyone has to go on a smallish vacation just to be accepted. If I had a time machine, I like to think that I would let them use it.
   So, my topic of discussion, is which category do you think you belong in? Why do you think that? This should be good...

Sincerely,
Monotonous Me

Day 0009:

   So, I am having a work dilemma. Over the past two months (at least) I have been applying for jobs. Not only have I been applying for them, but I have been following up in person. I've been calling them and making kick-butt resumes and cover letters for each. I have incredible people to back me up and prove my "worthiness" to work. I've changed my status from job hunting, to job stalking. Why? Because a few days every week I go to businesses and bug the crap out of them about making sure they got my application, and my resume, and making sure they read it. Every week, I get shut down. I have made absolutely no progress in the direction of a job.
   However, I am still receiving income. My parents graciously gave me work to do around the house. I cook dinner every night that I'm home. If I have to go somewhere, I set it up so that all my family has to do is pop it in the oven or re-heat it in the microwave. They also gave me plenty of yard work to do. I have to weed around all the  trees in our yard and surround each with mulch. I have to yard two "gardens". I use parentheses because they are basically spots in our yard that we dumped black dirt and may have planted a small bush or a few flowers, or very unsuccessful potatoes. Both of these spots are now way past the point of over-grown and basically count as a jungle of weeds. I get to mow the lawn pretty soon and I'm sure there are other things, but I can't think of them at this moment. For doing both of these fairly simple, but time-consuming things, I get an average weekly income of $40. It's nothing to make a living off of, but compared to little kid's allowance, it rocks.
   Not only that, but I was talking to a neighbor recently, who doesn't have enough hours in the day to do everything on his plate and play with his humongous German Shepherd. He said to my Dad as I was standing there, that he'd be willing to pay someone to play with his dog for an hour or so a day. I said 'I'd be willing to do that!' and laughed. He looked at me and said 'Are you serious? Because I really will do that.' to which I responded 'Oh-I'm 100% serious.' I intend to walk over to his place today or tomorrow and talk to him more about that.
   My discussion piece is as follows:
   Have you ever been out of a job for a long period of time? Was it because you didn't look hard enough, or because unemployment is/was up? What did you do to make work for yourself? If all else fails, I hope to derive some ideas from this...

Sincerely,
Monotonous Me

Day 0008:

   Last night, my good friend Clayton invited me to go with him and our friend Jalen (Jalen is a boy) to the races. Apparently Jalen races what people call a Micro. Now, I have never been to any vehicular races before in my entire life. Never. Not once. Why? Because I like to believe that I have spent my time involved in more productive and useful activities. Racing has also appeared to be very uneventful. I enjoy Clayton and Jalen's company though, so I decided to go as 'moral support'.
   It was pretty interesting. Any women there are sized up immediately. Racing humor is tossed around the whole time, so someone like myself was left in the dust. The races never took very long. A few races had to be restarted because of collisions with the wall, or smoking engines. The interesting races to watch, were the ones that involved vehicular damage. No one sustained any injuries, so finding it enjoyable is not morbid or cruel (just thought I'd point that out right now so as to avoid any confusion or repulsion).
   Trying to find a topic of discussion for this has been a little difficult, but I found one:
   When have any of you been introduced to a clique outside of your own? Everything seems different. The way people dress, talk, joke, eat, etc. What cliques have you been introduced to, and what did you notice and think of them? Are you still included by these people today, or have you moved on?

Sincerely,
Monotonous Me

Day 0007:

   Wow. It has been quite a long time since I last updated this blog...shame on me! Funny how unemployed 20+ year old women can get busy.
   Right now, I'm sitting in my Mother's work vehicle while she has lunch with a client (she's a family and marriage counselor). I know; the gut reaction is to get upset and think, 'the injustice of it all!' but it's really not that bad. I like having time to myself. Better yet, I still get internet connection in the car.
   I wasn't always this way. I used to hate being alone. I'm still not a fan of sleeping alone, and I'm a very social person, but being alone means I'll get things done. Things I've probably put off for way too long anyway. So, today's discussion piece is going to be short and sweet as I ease back into making this blog a daily or bi-weekly thing again.
   How do you feel about being alone? Does it make you sad, or do you appreciate it? Is it a mixture of both? What do you do with yourself when you're alone? I know for myself, especially right after my divorce, I hated being alone. I hated being alone with my thoughts. It was depression and dangerous. I avoided it like the plague. If I was alone, I'd do everything in my power to go somewhere public with friends so I could be distracted. I realized after a little while that even in public, the sorrow was still there. Just not as potent.
   Now I don't mind it. I like thinking things through. I like giving my creativity room to breathe. I'm interested to see the feedback I get on this...

Sincerely,
Anonymous Me